My biggest advice to give to any mom? Give yourself grace.
The thing I struggle with the most as a mom? Giving myself grace.
Most things are easier said than done. Especially when it comes to motherhood. As moms, it’s easy to be hard on ourselves. We are responsible for this little person’s life. Not only that, but how their life turns out.
We are constantly shaping and molding them into the person they will become. How terrifying if you think about. It’s a lot of pressure.
I think there are so many parts of motherhood that people don’t talk about. Let’s take a minute and admit all those hard parts. Let’s not act like it’s easy or that we have it all together.
One of my favorite quotes I saw one time that stuck with me is:
Being a mama can be tough, but always remember in the eyes of your child, no one does it better than you” – Unknown
That simple quote offered a different perspective on how I was viewing myself as a mom. There are many moments with my son where I may take things a step too far. Whether I am overstimulated or internally struggling with anxiety. Most times, both of those apply. Then my son doesn’t listen for the 100th time or I’ve already asked nicely five times. The volcano erupts and I end up yelling louder than I would like. I see red and act in a way I don’t love.
Nothing earth shattering. Nothing out of the ordinary than just human nature, but it’s enough that throws me in a guilt spiral. That’s not the mom I wanted to be. It’s not the person I want to be. I want to be able to control my emotions.
Then I saw the quote above and reminded myself those are just weak moments. That’s not my life I’m living, that’s not his life. Just little moments in time. Not the grand scheme of things. My son gets so much love, positive attention, kindness, grace, patience, etc. My reaction was just a bad moment. A moment we are allowed. A moment where we can learn from it and grow from it. It’s how we handle the aftermath of that moment that matters most. I apologize and work on doing better.
My son looks at me with love and admiration. No one does it better in his eyes. No one does it better in your kids eyes. Give yourself grace for those moments.
I’m not going to lie. It’s a constant battle of giving myself grace, feeling guilty and then letting my short fuse get the best of me again. It’s not easy. The only answer I have found in trying to deal with all of the emotions:
God.
He is the only answer. He gives us the grace we need when we cannot give it to ourselves.
“Grace was given to us before the beginning of time” 2 Timothy 1:9
Besides losing my cool on occasion there are so many other motherhood moments that I have had to find grace for myself. From not properly cleaning sippy cups the way I should to not paying attention to when he’s outgrown his underwear and is ready for a bigger size. Small things with easy fixes that are easy to feel guilty for. Moments that in our head should have been easy to not mess up yet here I am messing it up.
Listen, life is messy. Life is hard. Life is complicated. And that is without a kid(s). Some days we are doing everything possible to survive the day and that is all we can muster up. Other days we will feel like superheros tackling the day. On those bad days, remember the superhero days are coming again. Give yourself grace and allow yourself those bad days.
Just like a part of childhood is falling down and having scrapped knees, but getting back up to keep playing – we have to take a step back, give ourselves the grace to pick ourselves up and keep going.
There is no manual for us. We have to figure it out as we go and learn from our mistakes. I often think about how there is no manual. I will stand there and think “I have never done this before. How am I supposed to know how to handle this or how to do this?” Praying for guidance is a great place to start and then just keep on packing the snacks.
No one deserves grace more than a mom if you ask me. Allow yourself that grace as much as you can. Look into the face of your child(ren) and see how much love is there. Take a deep breath in and then let it out. You’ve got this. Don’t let these little moments define who you are as a mother because it’s all lies.
“But by the grace of God I am what I am and His grace to me was not without effect” 1 Corinthians 15:10
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