Whether you’re reading this in the middle of exhaustion from sleepless nights during the newborn stage, in the midst of taking care of a sick child, the threenager stage or a five year old going on fifteen. Maybe you’re just tired from saying and asking the same things over and over again. Everything on repeat.
Maybe you’re just simply tired.
Lets take a moment and allow ourselves to be exhausted. Take a deep breath in and out. Allow yourself to say “yes, I am overly tired. I’m exhausted of x, y and z” and sit with it. Envision smelling a flower and then blowing out a candle.
Those dishes in the sink? They can wait.
Laundry in the dryer with another load waiting in the washer? They can wait.
Toys all over the house? They can wait.
The endless to-do list can wait. Allow yourself to take any amount of time you can get to do something for yourself. That may be doomscrolling TikTok or Instagram. Maybe reading a bible verse, devotional or other book. Maybe watching an episode of your favorite show. Or maybe simply drinking your coffee while it’s still semi-warm.
As moms – we don’t always need to be on the go. Never stopping until everything is done. But unfortunately, that is our instinct. That is our nature. And that is why we are burnt out. We can’t be at our best if we are not also taking care of ourselves.
I encourage you to take more time to stop and soak in all these moments. The moments of chaos and mess, of good and bad, of exhaustion and energy. Before we know it, these days will be over. It’ll be quiet in the house instead of chaos. It’ll be clean instead of their favorite toys spread all about.
You’ll blink and there will be no more sleepless nights. No more tummy time on blankets with teething toys. No longer those toys they are obsessed with that you always end up stepping on. No more times of asking to cuddle or sit on your lap. No more asking you to kiss the ouch away.
Don’t get me wrong – this doesn’t take away the exhaustion. This doesn’t take away the feeling of being so overwhelmed and just wanting to get through a certain phase. This can be true too.
But what if we just took a moment to stop and sit in the exhaustion? To allow ourselves grace to leave the chores even just for five minutes for us to relax.
Honestly, if you’re anything like me, you have to constantly remind your brain to be quiet. If this is what your brain sounds like: “I need to fold laundry, oh and it’s bath night, I need to get that appointment schedule, ugh this is a mess, I meant to message [insert name], I need to grab this from upstairs, ugh I’m hungry, I have an idea” then you know what I’m talking about.
In the midst of that thought tornado swirling around in my head though it’s important to take that deep breath, sag those shoulders, unclench the jaw and soak it all in. Take that bit of rest.
Trace Adkins is right – we are going to miss this. Time does go by fast. These are the good days. Relish in the mess for a few minutes even. Look around at your child(rens) favorite toys spread around the room and just smile at them. Maybe take a picture. Ingrain this time in your memory forever.
I often times look at my in-law’s house/situation now where their kids are now the parents and their house is quiet. I try to picture myself in several years at that time in my life and it is sad. Yes, I need my breaks, but only brief. I’m not ready for the house to be silent day in and day out. I take these days for granted for sure. Once again, not taking away the pure exhaustion and weariness I feel though day in and day out.
Here are some great ways that you can take some time for yourself, to recharge and be able to soak everything in more. To be honest, if you don’t give yourself time to reset it makes it very hard to soak in all these moments in time with your kid(s).
- Get yourself a coffee or your favorite go-to drink and drive around blasting your favorite music, an audiobook, a podcast or nothing at all
- Go shopping – NOT for groceries or anything that is “needed.” Look at decor for your house or a new top for yourself
- If applicable – have your partner or trusted friend/family member take your kid(s) out of the house for you so you can watch a show/movie with your favorite snack
- Get your nails done
- Have a breakfast or lunch date with a friend or close family member
- Go for a walk – listen to nothing or listen to something
- Go get ice cream – add fries for bonus comfort
- Read a book – bonus points when done outside or with a candle lit
- Journal
- Take a bath
- Listen to music
Whatever this time looks like for you – take it. Whether you can only get 15 minutes in or three hours. Take it. It’s so easy to get caught up in the motions of each day – trust me I’m victim number one to that, but that time is important.
Once you can step away to have a breather, it’s easier to come back and soak in all of these moments with your kid(s).
If you’re a scheduler/planner person – schedule that time. If you need something right in front of your face to remember to do it – write it on a sticky note and place it on the fridge.
More importantly though – know that you’re not alone in this exhaustion. You’re not alone in this weariness. You’re not alone in feeling like you’re just trying to survive the day. Know that you’re doing a good job, but also that you’re allowed a reset.
“You may not know it now, but you’re gonna miss this” – Trace Adkins
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